Coloured Pencils
by foxtrot run
Summary: Hermione knows that something is strangely wrong when a Weasley boy hauls her into the linen closet with him at the Burrow. And that something happens to be coloured pencils. FWHG


**A/N:** Hi everyone! Yeah, sorry, just another sort-of-funny one-shot concerning Fred and Hermione! I actually have been working a bit on the DM/HG story so hopefully I'll get another chapter out soon :)

Remember... R&R! You'll honestly make me so much happier!

**Disclaimer: **I own the plot and the coloured pencils... and the linen closet

oOo

"Pssssst! Hermione!"

Hermione stopped halfway down the hall, trying to decide where the voice had come from.

"In here!"

A door to her right was quickly flung open and, before she had time to react, she was dragged inside the linen closet by what could only be one of the Weasley boys.

"What?" she huffed, straightening her skirt from the hasty entrance.

"I've got a… problem," the boy said, clearly embarrassed by the tone of voice used. She guessed that, if the lights were on, his ears would be an incredibly violent shade of red.

"Yes you do. You dragged me into a linen closet!"

"No," he replied, chuckling. "An _actual_ problem. Like… the Green Goblin to Spiderman!"

"Spiderman?"

"Yes; Dad's latest muggle fetish," he explained.

"Oh. So what's _your_ problem?"

The boy didn't speak for a while.

"Well…" he began slowly. "It's not really _my _problem. But, well, say… there's a guy called… um… George!"

"George?"

"Okay, not George. He's too closely related to me. What about Ron?"

"Ron?"

"Mm… He's close too. I know! Hermione!" The boy, who she had all but confirmed was Fred, exclaimed brightly.

"What?"

"_No_," he went on, "the _person's_ name is Hermione."

"Oh?" Yes, she decided. Someone this confusing _must _be Fred.

"Actually, that's probably not the best name either…"

"Let's just call him Bob," she suggested, shifting so that she could lean against a shelf.

"Okay," Fred agreed. "Bob. Well anyway; this boy, Percy, was…"

"I thought we called him Bob?"

"What? Oh yeah… Okay, _Bob_ was just sitting in his room, _not_ making anything that Mum would disapprove of and then a pencil got stuck up his nose."

"A pencil? How on earth did you get a pencil up your nose?"

"Well… _I _didn't get a pencil up my nose," he corrected with dignity. "_Bob_ got a pencil up his nose. Anyway, Bob couldn't get the pencil out of his nose because there was some 'Stuck-Forever Adhesive' on the end of the pencil-"

"_What_? Why did you put _that_ on the end of a _pencil_?"

"I already told you, Hermione! _Bob_ did it, not _me_!"

Hermione snorted in disbelief. Fred seemed to ignore her and went on with his story.

"So anyway, Charlie tried-"

"Bob."

"_Bob_ tried _everything_ he could think of to get that ruddy pencil out of his nose. He even tried sticking _more_ pencils up there but it didn't actually help any," he told her.

"You stuck _more_ pencils up there? Merlin, Fred…"

"How'd you know I was Fred?"

"Well you're not Charlie, George or Ron and Percy and Bill are at work so…"

"Alright, alright, enough chit-chat. Well, seeing as _Bob_ couldn't get the pencil_s _out, he thought it was a good idea to come ask Hermione to help 'cause everyone knows that she's the smartest witch in the Burrow at Christmas and so here I am!"

Hermione, with a flick of her wand, turned the light on.

There stood Fred, hair slightly more mussed up than usual and a handful of pencils jammed up one nostril.

"Hey!" he protested, crossing his arms over his chest. "That's not fair."

"Honestly, Fred," she retorted, beginning to examine his nose. "How do you expect me to help you if I can't even _see_ the problem?"

Fred sighed indignantly in reply.

After a good half a minute of examination, Hermione stood back, pointed her wand at Fred's face and the pencils were gone.

"Apparently 'everything' doesn't include Vanishing."

He grinned sheepishly as his fingers closed joyfully around his pencil-free nose.

"Oh yeah. Forgot that one."

oOo

**A/N:** Hehe did you like it? It was really just a piece to amuse myself but I thought I'd share it with the world!

Leave me a review!


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